mother ~ mom ~ mommy

i can hardly contain my excitement!! i finally have something to look forward to, my mother is coming to visit! yay!!! i know a lot of people have relationships with their mothers that they are proud of and i too am one of them. i consider my mother to be, well, my mother! my confidant, my rock, my friend, my family, my box of tissue & my slap in the face when needed. she has been the one constant in this roller coaster i call my life. people have come and gone, and will continue to do so but in the end i know she will be there. she is ALWAYS there... i think we all take our mothers for granted. thinking they will always be there, no matter what, and im sure this is true, but what happens when they arent there? what happens when they are no longer there to support you? to help you pick up the peaces of a broken heart? to guide you through her own experiences? to stear you down the right path? ugh, i cant even keep going with that because the thought of not having my mother brings me to tears.. such a baby i know!

my mother has shown me so much, has shaped me into the woman i am. she taught me how to be strong, how to smile through the tears, how to be a pillar of support & strength for my own children. she taught me to be selfless, all too well. how to be frugal when needed and when not. she taught me that being weak is ok too. to fight for what you believe in, no matter the thoughts of others. to be an individual. i think the one of the most valuable lessons she taught me was to follow my heart.. follow my heart wherever it takes me. 

growing up i remember seeing the things she went through. the struggles of being a mother of a child with a not so great father. learning when and where to place boundaries when needed. having to explain to a child why their father wouldnt be there today.. all while never saying one bad thing about the man that was hurting her baby so badly.. having the courage to let go of her past to pursue her true happines.. letting go of her present because she forsaw her future somewhere else... the little things in life that i never truely realized until now. it seems like my mother is present in everything i do, everything i say and everything i have done, in some way, shape or form. i hear myself telling my kids things she said to me or telling them  stories of things we did together that i now do with them.

at the end of the day, no one can compare to her. she is an amazing woman! a woman that i admire, adore, envy & emulate. i count down the days until she is here again, to share stories, to chat, to relax with, to just be close to again. and i know that at some point that happy time will come to an end again, as it always does when she must leave, but until then i will cherish every min of her company.. i just hope that one day at some point in my own childrens lives that one, yes i say one, of them will look at me the same way i look at my own mother...

i love you mom!